Wonderment S1E4 - Troubling Times

Wonderment dared not move. Sir Godwin’s gaze was fixed on him. Wonderment could practically feel the accusations assembling behind Sir Gowin’s eyes. Charles stood motionless; the only sound was his ragged breath. As if on cue, the courtiers began to retreat from the room, leaving just Charles, Rafferty, Hob, Sir Godwin, and the two black knights. Everyone searched for something to say, but every possible sentence seemed likely to get them killed. Wonderment glanced at Rafferty, who met his gaze but then cast his eyes toward the floor.

At last, Charles boomed, “Follow.”

He left the treasure room and, after retrieving a torch from a wall-mounted fixture, led the group up some stairs into a higher room of the castle. The halls they passed through were less extravagant than the ones they had walked before: all cold stone illuminated by the flicker of flames. It had grown dark, though Wonderment could not tell whether this was due to the hour, the lack of windows, or some literary punishment imposed as the narrator’s temper worsened. Charles led them into a library, or what Wonderment took for a library, given the shelves of heavy tomes hovering at the edge of the candlelight. On a small round table, next to a candle, stood a single pewter pitcher containing a deep red wine and three matching goblets.

After the knights closed the door, Charles asked, “My treasure is gone. How?”

“His majesty is right to be infuriated,” Sir Godwin said, but he offered no explanation.

Hob said, “It was stolen.” Charles turned away in disgust, silent.

Sir Godwin fixed Wonderment with a pointed question: “What do you have to say?”

“Charles,” Wonderment said, “look at me. This is the question now: are you our friend, or are you this kingdom’s ruler first? Because if it’s the latter, the treasure matters. If it’s the former, none of this matters more than us getting out.”

Sir Godwin’s reply brimmed with contempt. “How can you say such things?” he growled, voice roughened by fury. “You deflect, you change the subject, you insult our king with this nonsense at the worst possible time.”

“Rafferty, back me up,” Wonderment said.

Rafferty, obviously tense, spoke just above a whisper, “Charles, my friend, can you please explain to us why this matters so much? Just days… uh… I think it was days ago… we were enjoying mimosas by the pool. Now we’re in this place.” He gestured at the room, most of it swallowed by darkness beyond a small trembling sphere of light.

Charles opened his mouth, but Sir Godwin interrupted. “This matters because a king who cannot guard his own vault cannot guard a kingdom. By tomorrow, every corridor will whisper that he is poor, weak, and vulnerable. Charles, mercy now is not mercy. It is collapse.”

Wonderment muttered, “Why is this guy here?”

Sir Godwin hissed slightly.

“Sir Godwin has ever been loyal,” Charles croaked, his voice scraping out through exhaustion. Then, glaring at Hob, “And none more loyal than Hob. Eccentric or not, they were my only friends here before you two finally thought to show your faces.”

Rafferty said, “We get it. But can’t you see their concerns differ from ours? Don’t you remember before?”

Charles poured himself a glass of wine.

“I remember all,” Charles said, taking a sip.

Wonderment pressed, “Then you know why finding the author matters?”

Rafferty grumbled in agreement, “That seems like our best way forward.”

Sir Godwin shouted, “Don’t listen to these men!” He cast a crooked finger, more bone than living, in their direction. “There is only one response to this theft: interrogations. We will turn the court upside down. We will wring any information out of those who would defy you. Then, we raise an army and take back what is rightfully yours.”

Charles sipped his wine contemplatively. Some of it missed his mouth and ran down both sides of his face. Wonderment noticed, for the first time, how gaunt his features had become. His eyes were darkened and sunken in. The wine left macabre streaks across his face, almost bloodlike. A small drop fell from his chin, and perhaps because of Wonderment’s fixed attention, seemed to hang in midair for a moment before continuing its descent.

Hob decided to shed some light on the situation. “The treasure has been stolen. There was a picture of a dragon.”

Charles went still. For the first time that night, he looked fully awake. “A dragon. Indeed, Hob. Indeed. This is no theft. It is a declaration.”

He took another sip of wine before continuing. “Well, Wonderment, you might be pleased to know that a dragon is King Author’s sigil. Perhaps you’ll meet him sooner than you expected. But alas, I grow weary. And you,” he peered at Rafferty, “are far too drunk for serious conversation. Let us reconvene on the morrow.”

Rafferty and Wonderment walked back to their chambers in taut silence. In another mood, both might have laughed at the absurdity, but now suspicion knotted their stomachs. When they reached the chamber’s door, Rafferty’s voice was low, strained: “I’d like to have a word, if you don’t mind.”

“Certainly,” answered Wonderment. He followed Rafferty into his room, where they dragged two heavy armchairs from the room’s corners to the fireplace. The log inside crackled, but it had long since burnt low, providing just enough light for the two men to see each other. Rafferty’s expression was grave, and the fire cast long shadows across his face.

“Wonderment,” Rafferty began, “Charles may be lost to us.”

Wonderment drew a sharp breath. He frowned. “I agree. I don’t know how to shake him out of it, but we must. We can’t let him continue.”

“That advisor, Sir Godwin. He’s bad news. I feel him turning Charles against us,” Rafferty said.

“And absolute power corrupts absolutely, or something like that,” Wonderment offered.

“I know his look,” Rafferty said, “I’ve seen men fall in love with authority before. First, they act as though they are only carrying it. Then, suddenly, it is carrying them. I’m telling you now: if Charles keeps choosing this place over us, he will feed us to it eventually.”

“I can’t say I disagree with you,” Wonderment answered. “But let’s not forget Charles has surprised us before. At the resort, we never would have made it out without his intervention. Yet he was fighting something the rest of us couldn’t see.”

“I know,” Rafferty said, standing to look at the fire. “But then, you’re worried too.”

“I am,” Wonderment said.

“If it comes to it, we may have hard choices,” Rafferty whispered.

“Don’t,” Wonderment said, more forcefully than intended. He saw Rafferty quiver, then stood and bid him goodnight.

Back in his chamber, Wonderment fell into a deep, unnatural sleep. He rarely dreamed. Tonight was different. First came a sound, like a squeegee running across a wet windshield. Then a muffled pounding.

“Wonderment! Wonderment!” A voice yelled, but the sound was dampened, as though it had to fight its way through thick glass. Wonderment’s eyes opened, and he saw Arjun looking down at him. Arjun’s features were distorted, as though they were reflected to Wonderment by a funhouse mirror. Arjun’s eyes were tiny, and his nose was lengthened ridiculously. His cheeks and mouth were stretched outward, so their width was almost double the length of his face.

“Wonderment, hang in there!” Arjun called to him.

Wonderment tried to reply, “You look worse than I do, buddy,” but he couldn’t.

He tried to lift his hand, to reach out, but he couldn’t move. Then his stomach dropped as though he had just gone over the lip of a rollercoaster. Suddenly, he found himself floating above his body, looking down into a darkened room. He saw himself, encased in a glass tank. Arjun stood next to him. The room was filled with all manner of scientific equipment: beakers, stacks of papers, and cuboidal machines with blinking green lights. Arjun sighed, and his shoulders dropped. He turned to go. Wonderment tried to follow and found he could drift freely, just by intending to do so. Arjun proceeded up a long staircase. At its top, he opened a heavy metal door and walked along a hallway. He passed many other people, most wearing lab coats. Then Arjun stepped through an automatic door. Wonderment found he couldn’t follow Arjun through the door, but he gazed out on a blinding white landscape, all snow and ice. Wonderment jerked back to consciousness, though he could still feel the frost on his skin.

“This world is porous,” he whispered, not knowing whether the thought was his own.

Wonderment was summoned early and led to the treasure room by Lady Julianna, who remained silent and aloof. Rafferty and Charles were already there, along with a retinue of courtiers dressed in black. Rafferty leaned against a wall, moodily smoking a cigarette. Wonderment made a mental note to ask him where the hell he had found a cigarette. Everyone else moved about the room slowly, pausing at random to deeply contemplate nothing at all: a brick in the wall or a line in the dust on the floor. It gave the impression of an ongoing performance art piece.

“We are investigating,” Hob explained to Wonderment, who had arrived in a state of obvious confusion.

Wonderment watched the proceedings for a bit, then excused himself to investigate the surrounding corridors. He was not looking for anything in particular, but the sunlight seeping in through the open windows helped him feel more alert. It was while he was peering out one of these windows, surveying the landscape, that he noticed an odd bracket. Then he found a second, right next to it. They had a patterned texture, like carbon fiber. Wonderment knelt and inspected them closely. Each had a socket, designed for what, he couldn’t say, and they appeared to be fixed to the wall with screws.

“What on earth?” he asked himself.

He glanced out the window again, looking downward. Below, there was a rampart of the castle’s inner courtyard. The morning seemed fresh and inviting, so he used his investigation as an excuse to head outside. Wonderment found his way to the top of the rampart, which was covered by construction materials; it appeared to have sustained heavy damage, with repairs in progress. His inspection of the rampart was leisurely. When he tired of walking, he sat on a pile of wooden beams to enjoy the pleasant morning. In different circumstances, he might have felt carefree, or even happy, but he couldn’t escape a nagging anxiety that had burrowed its way into his gut. Even the gray stones of the castle wall angered him, so he maneuvered himself to the other side of the pile, so that his legs hung off the edge of the rampart and he could gaze upon the rolling hills of the countryside. There was a small space between the pile of boards and the stone lip at the rampart’s edge. Wonderment noticed two black objects wedged into the gap. He hopped off the pile of boards and reached for them. They were a good distance behind the pile, and he had to lie on his belly and grope around to catch one.

When he retrieved the object, he was confused. It was a black duffel bag; the kind he used to bring a change of clothes to the gym. Obviously modern.

“What is this?” he muttered, bewildered.

He fished out the second object and found it was an identical duffel bag. He unzipped the first and understood. Inside, there was a rope ladder. The rope was black and finely woven. It felt synthetic, nothing like the rough, natural fibers used in the ropes that supported the wooden scaffolding on the far side of the rampart. He opened the second bag. Inside was a crumpled outfit that appeared to be some kind of courtier’s garb.

“Ugh,” Wonderment sighed. Why did he have to be the one to find a clue? He would rather have stayed out of the whole mess and waited for Charles to make his own decision. Wonderment thought briefly about just putting the duffel bags back where he had found them, but then decided against it. He’d already escaped treason once.

When he returned to the treasure room, Charles and the other courtiers were still going about their rhythmic, mindless investigation. He threw the duffel bags at Charles’s feet and said, “Found something.”

Charles barely looked up. “So did we. The third brick of the fourth row is slightly off-color. Maybe it was replaced.”

“Look, Charles,” Wonderment said, angrily, “those are duffel bags. Duffel bags. You know, like, from modern times for carrying things.”

Rafferty walked over and inspected them. As he ran the rope ladder through his hands, he looked up at Wonderment. Rafferty didn’t have to speak for Wonderment to understand that he was absolutely fed up with the charade. Then, Wonderment began to smile. He was sure the expression infuriated Rafferty, but he couldn’t help it. Somehow, seeing these objects made him more confident that he would be able to escape, or at least learn more, because they meant someone else from another time was here. Charles trudged over, dragging his feet like a sad boy who didn’t want to go to school that day. He took the rope ladder and held it up in front of his face. His expression remained blank and drooped slightly. Wonderment couldn’t be sure there was anything happening behind his eyes.

“Strange,” Charles said at last. “This is fine craftsmanship. Our ropes do not compare. Someone dock the cordwainer’s pay at once!”

“But my liege!” Sir Godwin rushed over and said, “The cordwainer makes shoes.”

“I said what I said,” Charles grumbled angrily, then turned to Wonderment. “Well, saying something useful.”

“Charles, this is proof,” Wonderment said. “Someone from our world came here!”

“Do not listen to them,” Sir Godwin hissed. “The more I hear, the more convinced I am they are traitors, your majesty!”

“What the hell, man?” Wonderment asked. “You are like, actively working against us.”

“Silence,” Charles roared. “My court must work together in times like these.”

“Yes, your majesty,” Sir Godwin said, bowing before slinking away.

“I will decide our course of action this evening,” Charles announced, and then stalked out of the room.

The other courtiers stopped their pantomimed investigation and followed him out of the hall, leaving Wonderment and Rafferty. The two men remembered their conversation from the previous evening. Before either could speak, Hob marched up to them. “You know you both have been a major inconvenience to me!”

“Uh, yeah…,” Wonderment sighed. He already felt worn thin by the events of the day, and he didn’t know whether he had the capacity for another inconvenience.

“Yeah,” Hob said with self-assurance, “a downright imposition.”

“Look, Hob,” Wonderment groaned, “I apologize for inconveniencing you, I really do. We’re also in a difficult position. I need you to understand.”

“I’ve been speaking with a wise woman,” Hob explained. “Mother Abigail. She’s a saint. Well, not literally a saint. But she’s nice.”

“That’s great, Hob, really,” Wonderment said.

“She says you two have been... hold on,” Hob said as he paused to recall, “a source of psychological torment. Whatever she means by that.”

Rafferty chuckled to himself and turned his back on the two. Wonderment tried to diffuse the situation, “Again, Hob, I apologize. I really didn’t mean to convince you we weren’t real.”

“Making a fellow doubt his own head is cruel,” Hob explained.

“Yes, indeed,” Wonderment nodded. He bit his knuckle in a desperate attempt to remain cool. He wanted to jump out of a window.

“Mother Abigail said the best thing I could do was talk to you,” Hob said earnestly, “and make peace.”

“That’s great, Hob…” Wonderment was beginning to say. Hob interrupted him, “But I don’t get nowhere with talking and peace. I challenge you to a duel!”

“No, No. Hob, I can’t duel you. I need to get us out of here,” Wonderment replied immediately.

Rafferty turned around and said, “I accept.”

“You do?” Hob and Wonderment asked in unison.

Wonderment recovered first. “No, Rafferty. I need you intact. We can’t risk…”

“Enough,” Rafferty said, silencing Wonderment. “This simulation, or whatever the hell this world is, has been pushing us around since the moment we got here. I’m tired of groveling. I say we push back.” Then, turning to Hob, continued, “So, yes, Hob. I accept your challenge. Let’s go. Right now.”

“Well, we need to go to the courtyard first,” Hob replied, “for dignity. You know.”

“Right. For dignity,” Rafferty replied. “We’ll go out to the courtyard, and I’ll kick your ass.”

Out in the courtyard, there was a nicely arranged wooden corral for just this sort of business. Hob and Rafferty took positions at opposite ends, where a variety of weapons were laid out in small enclosures. Wonderment stood alongside as Rafferty prepared. Rafferty bore a look that somehow mixed grim determination with amusement. His jaw was set, but his eyes were wild. No doubt, somewhere in his genetic makeup were the variants of Mongol warriors – of soldiers who had gone over the top when the whistle blew. Wonderment couldn’t help but feel admiration.

“Rafferty,” Wonderment pleaded, “you can’t do this. Win or lose, you’ll be injured or worse. Then what am I to do? I can’t make it out of this without you.”

Rafferty paused, hand on scabbard, turned, and gripped Wonderment’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Things always work out for you. Don’t you see that yet?”

“Okay, maybe I am lucky. But you could die. Why fight this weirdo? Is he even real?” Wonderment pressed.

Rafferty chuckled. He shot Wonderment a mischievous grin and asked, “Is it better to die on your feet, or live on your knees?”

Wonderment didn’t respond. A trumpet blasted. Rafferty hurriedly threw a long sword into the scabbard and left the enclosure for the arena, where a considerable crowd had gathered. Wonderment sheepishly followed him into the arena, but stayed along the side, while Rafferty marched toward the center. There, he met Hob, who now brandished a massive hammer and had somehow found the time to cover himself, unclothed from the waist up, with intricate markings in ash.

“Damn it,” Rafferty yelled, “Wonderment, I forgot my axe! I specifically asked for a nice axe, and now that I have a chance to use it, it’s sitting on the table in my chamber!”

“I’ll run and fetch it,” cried Lady Julianna from somewhere outside the fenced-in ring. Lady Julianna, who had fallen catastrophically in love with both men for reasons too stupid to explain now, sprinted off to fetch the axe.

“Uh, thanks,” Rafferty yelled as Lady Julianna rushed off.

“Well then,” Hob boomed, “No need to delay. Let’s get this started.”

Immediately, a second trumpet sounded, and Hob swung his hammer in Rafferty’s direction. Rafferty hopped backward with the grace of a Bolshoi dancer. Hob’s strike missed entirely, and the force of the unmet blow caused the huge man to pirouette with considerably lesser grace. Rafferty drew his sword, gripping its handle with two hands, and thrust it toward his opponent’s ribs. The tip met its mark, but just barely, where it traced a hairline cut down Hob’s side. Hob staggered back a few paces; the only real injury was his pride. Wonderment exhaled. He was surprised by how well this was going. Rafferty rushed forward aggressively. He swung the sword in an upward arc. With lightning speed, Hob met the blow with the handle of his hammer. It glanced off, and the blade hit the dirt. Hob switched hands and brought the hammer toward Rafferty’s chest in a sweeping motion, so it contacted his ribcage. Hob didn’t have enough room for the hammer to accelerate enough to damage Rafferty on impact, but through Hob’s pure strength, he was able to send Rafferty flying to the left.

“Stop!” Charles shouted. His voice seemed to pierce Wonderment’s skull and reverberate in his brain. It hurt. It had an impossible authority. Wonderment saw that Rafferty and Hob both lowered their weapons immediately.

“Odd,” Wonderment said aloud.

“You are not allowed to kill one another,” Charles continued.

“But he offended my sensibilities, he has,” yelped Hob in reply.

“Come on, Charles! We were just getting started. Where’s your sense of fun?” Rafferty called.

“No! I simply will not allow it. At a time like this, I can’t afford to lose men to petty quarrels,” Charles said with an air of impertinence. “Besides, the fact that you began this squabble without informing me or giving me the opportunity to make my customary pre-duel speech, or my pre-duel-speech blessing, is deeply offensive. You both should be executed on the spot for that offense.”

At this moment, Lady Julianna returned from Rafferty’s chamber with his prized axe. She gave the axe a solid throw and yelled, “Here!”

Rafferty, however, wasn’t paying a lick of attention, given Charles’s monologue, and the axe went hurtling past him. It struck a courtier in the center of the head and killed him instantly.

“Yikes!” Charles exclaimed. “Don’t do that, Lady Julianna! Anyway, yes, I’m slightly peeved at you both for not inviting me. Also, I’m just generally stressed out by this whole treasure room thing. If blood is to be spilled in my courtyard, I will choose the spectacle. Therefore, you will face the dreaded man-eating beast of yore.”

“The dreaded man-eating beast of yore?” Wonderment asked himself.

Hob began shaking. Rafferty could tell, just from Hob’s response, that this might be serious. There was yet another trumpet blast. A gate at the far end of the arena opened. About ten men with pikes stood behind it, trembling as they forced a great beast to enter the arena. The thing was roughly the size of a school bus; a lion mixed with a bison. All gnashing teeth, but with shaggy brown fur and cloven hooves.

“Okay,” Rafferty said, cracking his neck. Hob dropped his hammer and cowered. “Get up,” Rafferty urged as the ash markings under Hob’s eyes began to run.

“It’s the man-eating beast of yore,” Hob croaked.

“Yeah?” Rafferty asked. “Well, it’s starting to feel a bit more like the present. Let’s trash this thing!”

“What does ‘trash’ mean?” Hob asked.

“Slang. Means beating up, defeating,” Rafferty replied.

Hob stared at Rafferty for a moment. Then Hob took Rafferty’s extended hand and was pulled off the ground. Wonderment, stirred despite himself by what he had seen, grabbed a nearby spear and rushed to their side. Even from their location, a good distance from Charles, who had taken a position on an elevated platform, Wonderment could see Sir Godwin at his side, casting a menacing grin in their direction. He wondered whether the advisor had convinced Charles to set them against the beast, but he didn’t have long to think. The beast let out a snarl and charged. Rafferty lunged to one side, and Wonderment followed. Hob went the other way, raising his hammer as he did. The creature angled toward Hob and lashed out with a massive hoof. Hob tried to block the attack, but it was too powerful, and it knocked the weapon from his grip. Hob was thrown sideways into the dirt, and the beast began to advance on him, slowing its pace, as though savoring the moment.

Wonderment watched in horror. Rafferty reacted. He plucked the spear from Wonderment’s frozen hands and launched it toward the beast. The point narrowly missed the beast’s hind leg and kicked up a small plume of dust. The creature noticed, and it whirled around to face them. Then it began to paw at the ground, like a bull preparing to charge. Wonderment and Rafferty looked at each other, and then both sprinted in opposite directions as the beast leapt into the air and landed where they had been. It then trotted in a circle, unsure who to follow. Once again, it decided to attack Hob, who hadn’t fully recovered.

“Look out, Hob,” Rafferty shouted.

Hob pushed himself off the ground and glanced behind him, just in time to see the creature begin to charge. He scrambled to his feet and began to run. Wonderment could tell it wasn’t fast enough.

“Left Hob! Go left,” he called.

Hob turned at a right angle, and the creature went soaring past him. It collided with the arena’s fence, shattering it. In its massive jaws, the beast picked up a rail of the fence and shook it back and forth in the air, like a dog with a toy. Lady Julianna had been standing nearby, and she was knocked over by a piece of the broken fence. She stood up, dusted herself off, and began to shriek at the top of her lungs. It was a horrible, piercing sound that made Wonderment’s ears burn even though he was standing a good distance away. The creature, too, seemed taken aback. It cowered slightly at the sound and let out a whine.

Charles was thoroughly annoyed by the destruction of his arena. “Why does nothing ever go right?” he whined to Sir Godwin. Sir Godwin took this as his cue to get the situation under control. He pulled a horn from his belt and blew three short blasts into it. The sound echoed throughout the castle’s inner courtyard. Though it wasn’t visible to Wonderment and the others, the gates of the castle’s inner courtyard slammed shut, and a phalanx of black knights rushed out of the castle. The beast had learned to hate the knights, given that they were often the ones forcing it to march about at spearpoint, and charged, completely ignoring the others in the arena. The creature smashed through their ranks and sent knights hurtling in all directions. There were several other knights along the ramparts, and they began to fire arrows at the creature from above. The beast snorted heavily and charged into the base of the rampart, which was still under construction. It smashed through the scaffolding that supported a section of the wall. There was a tremendous crash as wood, mortar, and stone collapsed downward.

Hearing the cacophony, Wonderment, Rafferty, and Hob rushed out of the arena into the courtyard. Charles and his entourage also made their way out of the corral. They arrived just in time to see a large section of wall give way, the knights at the top thrown into the air and colliding with the ground. A few of these knights wavered back onto their feet, but they couldn’t hold their weapons. The soulless armored automata staggered in loose circles. The beast, too, was disoriented, as some of the wall’s stones must have made contact on their way down.

“Wonderment, I have an idea,” Rafferty barked. “Take Hob, hide by the castle doors. Don’t draw attention to yourself.”

Wonderment immediately complied. He grabbed Hob’s hand and led the lumbering man toward the castle, weaving past limping black knights. Rafferty lifted the sword he still carried and ran toward the creature, letting out a battle cry at the top of his lungs. The creature responded immediately, turning round and lowering its head toward Rafferty. At this, Rafferty pivoted on a dime and dashed after Wonderment. When he neared the castle, he turned back to face the thing. The beast’s mouth opened, and the stench of carrion poured forth. Rafferty raised his sword again and cursed loudly, foully. Rafferty threw every name he could think of at the thing, which couldn’t understand, but nevertheless sensed the challenge. Its yellow eyes narrowed to slits, and it charged again. Heavy hooves shook the ground on its approach. At the last possible moment, Rafferty rolled sideways. The creature’s momentum carried it forward, through the castle doors, and into the room beyond.

“Wonderment,” cried Rafferty.

Wonderment, standing near the castle doors, was still processing what he had seen; however, Rafferty’s call was enough to jolt him to alertness. He pushed one side of the castle’s door closed. Hob observed and did nothing.

“Well, come on then,” Wonderment said to him.

“Oh,” Hob replied, before throwing his weight behind the other door.

The thick wood of the castle door groaned under their exertions and at last slammed into place. Rafferty threw down a heavy bar, locking the door. They waited for a moment, listening. They could hear snorting and bellowing from inside, but there were no further signs of aggression. Wonderment sighed heavily.

“Did we just…” Hob began. Then he shut his mouth.

Rafferty staggered to the side and put his full weight against his sword, tip in the dirt. Sweat poured from his brow.

“I guess that’s one solution,” Wonderment said to him.

“I didn’t see too many options,” Rafferty replied.

There was a single thud as the beast slammed into the door. The doors lurched outward slightly, but they held fast. The creature did not try again.

“You contemptible fools,” Sir Godwin screamed, rushing forward ahead of Charles.

“What did you expect us to do?” Rafferty asked him.

“You… you…” Sir Godwin shouted. Charles, barely able to move, doubled over laughing when he reached them.

“Lads, I can’t believe you just…” Charles gasped, “You put it in the castle.”

“Well, you did set a beast upon us,” Wonderment replied.

There was another crash from somewhere in the castle.

“I don’t even… I don’t even know what to say,” Charles laughed.

“Your majesty, I beg you,” Sir Godwin roared, “you must take this seriously!”

“Oh, come off it,” Wonderment said.

Charles’s laughter turned to wheezing. “I just can’t believe it.”

“Finally acting like himself,” Rafferty muttered to Wonderment.

Sir Godwin wailed for a second, then grabbed Charles’s arm and led him away. Charles allowed himself to be dragged along, still laughing maniacally as the castle shuddered again behind him. He called to them, “See you later, I suppose! Honestly, good God, you do not cease to surprise me.”

After Charles had gone, the three surveyed the courtyard. An entire wall had collapsed, and numerous suits of armor lay motionless on the ground. The courtiers, who had gathered at the corral earlier, seemed entirely unsure how to proceed. So, they milled about in groups, surveying the damage. Some appeared deeply troubled. Others acted as though everything were perfectly normal. All seemed to think it was a good idea to keep their distance from the combatants.

“Well then, Hob,” Rafferty said, “are we square? Not much of a duel, I suppose?”

“Square?” asked Hob.

“Uhm, square. As in solid. Friends. No longer at odds,” Rafferty replied.

Hob looked up at the sky. He thought for a moment. Then he extended a huge hand to Rafferty, and Rafferty shook it.

“Friends,” Hob said. “I don’t know if you’re real, you funny square man, but you are good with a sword.”

“And you with a hammer,” Rafferty answered.

There was silence for a time. At last, Hob spoke again, “You’ve given me much to think on. First, you were real. Then you were not real. Then you were real again. Then we were enemies. Now we are… square. When all of this is done, I will retire. I am going to move to the country. I want to write. I want to think.”

Wonderment said, “Well then,” quietly, and gave Hob a curt nod.

The castle and court had been thrown into disarray. The entire lower floor was cordoned off, and the structure shook occasionally as the beast tested its new confines. The upper levels continued to function more or less as they always had. In the evening, Charles summoned them to his chambers. When Wonderment and Rafferty entered, several pages were helping Charles into a suit of armor. Another muffled crash from far below sounded as if to announce their entrance.

“Sorry about that,” Rafferty muttered.

“Oh, nonsense,” Charles replied, smiling, “it was rude of me to set that beast against you. I was bored, to be honest. Anyway, we’re leaving soon.”

“Leaving?” Wonderment asked.

“Yes,” Charles continued, “I’ve made my decision. We’re setting out on the morrow to pay King Author a visit.”

“Hell yes,” Wonderment said, punching the air.

Sir Godwin scowled at him.

“I’m glad you’re pleased. You will be coming along, of course,” Charles said.

“Don’t forget the plan,” Sir Godwin hissed.

“Oh yes, yes, right,” said Charles. “Yes, the plan is this. We’re going to raise an army and lay siege to King Author’s castle, him having stolen all my treasure and such.”

“Just like that?” Wonderment asked. “You’re going to war?”

“Stealing a kingdom’s treasure is, as you might imagine, a rather serious matter,” Charles answered. “I suppose we’ll try to talk to him first, but if that fails, then yes, we’ll start lobbing stones and setting things on fire.”

Wonderment screwed up his face and narrowed his eyes. This wasn’t what he was hoping for. He had imagined something like a diplomatic mission, not the prospect of following a delusional king to war. But he realized anything was an improvement to being cooped up in this forsaken place. Charles quickly dismissed them, relieved that they didn’t have any questions. Wonderment and Rafferty walked back to their chambers. They didn’t speak. There was nothing to be said, no words that might dispel the hopeless weirdness. No one slept that evening. All were worried about what lay ahead and whether the castle might collapse at any moment. The beast rampaged below, causing the castle to shudder, as though it were a ravenous stomach demanding its next meal.